New Beginnings

July is a difficult time for me. I suppose I have several months that are difficult.

July brings with it my Dad’s birthday (I miss his every day) and the month we lost my mom (I miss her every day). Then, the joy of my sister’s birthday. The excitement of the July 4th holiday with the anxiety of the fireworks in my neighborhood (I stay alert and need to sedate my cats — fosters and my own). July is such a mixture of emotions.

Lately, when I hit my emotional limit, I have a volcanic eruption. Covering everyone in its wake with no filter. The older I get, the larger the eruption. After the eruption, I need to clean up the mess. Some people stay and some go. I don’t blame anyone for stepping away – not everyone can live near a volcano.

Here’s where the new beginning comes in.

But for me, it feels like I have let all the pent up emotions out, although there’s probably a better way. However, this is how I do it. And, truly at this point in my life, this is who I am.

After the eruption, I tend to feel huge emotions and then can sit and write, think, cry, meditate and even do some yoga. Each time gives me a new perspective, gives me new ideas and, most importantly, usually sets me in a new direction. Mostly because these eruptions come from a place that I need to change.

The new beginning from here is to do what makes me happy. To stop being and doing what doesn’t make me happy. That takes work and planning in my case. However, it sets things in motion. To be happy is the best goal in life, isn’t it? It can look like different things to different people. And, it might take time to figure out what makes you happy.

I find that if something makes me smile, laugh, lightens my mood, I am excited to do it, and just all around lights up my life is what makes me happy. It can be anything from a good book, writing, taking care of my fosters, a good movie, doing a job that isn’t a job, and so much more.

I am now going to find what makes me happy and do it. I hope you find your happiness for your new beginning to the rest of your life.